Crying

Ever since we moved in our present location, there's isn't a day that I don't hear this boy of about 4 years of age, not crying. I won't be talking about it if it doesn't bother me, you know. I am a parent and crying once in a while is okay but everyday and with the intensity as if kinakaykay na ang halunan, well that is just not right, at least not in my book. 


One of my workers even noticed it saying the mom was cruel. He said the mom threatened to leave the boy. Well, I guess it was said because she wanted the boy to stop crying but more often than not using fear is not effective and unwise, emotionally and psychologically.


Babies cry because that is their way to communicate with us, when they are hungry, wet and soiled or if they need our warmth but is it okay to let our child cry?


Here is my opinion on the matter. 


I believe that crying in a way is a learned behavior. Like if they cry over something and you give them what they want, crying then becomes a tool for them to manipulate parents. Crying sometimes is their last resort when they try to communicate with you in a calm manner but choose to ignore it because it's either we are busy and occupied. Then they start to cry out of frustration. We want it to stop but you can't deal with him right now, so we give in to them. The child then learns the shortcut to get things their way.


Children who feels that their parents are always there will cry much less. A parent who are in tune to all their child's cues will have a calm child than those parents who let their children cry all the time.If you teach them to laugh off a minor fall they will, if you teach them to cry, they will.


We can teach our children that there are other ways to communicate other than crying. The bottom line I guess is attention. Children needs our attention. 


My daughter is 17 now and I have given her all the love and attention a mother can give.When she was just a baby, old folks would give me advice on how to handle her. I only follow those that made sense to me the rest was all about the motherly instinct kicking in and lots of common sense.


They told me not to pick her up when she cries if she wasn't hungry or wet but I can feel when she needs my warmth so I would pick her up and she'd stop crying. They are just concerned about me of course but I figured my daughter will only be that small at a certain period of time and then when she got big I'll never be able to be that close to her. So stubborn as a bull, I'd pick her up when I can feel she needed me. A special bond between us was formed because of that, I believe. Until now at her age, she considers me her bestfriend. She still insists that I watch her everytime she has to perform in school. of course I wouldn't miss it for the world. It's important to her so I'm there, always. Every afternoon after school, she'd talk to me about her day. It's not always perfect of course, nothing is. I can only do my best but I cannot control the rest. She's growing up and has a mind of her own. I can only guide her, share stories and opinions, teach the word consequence and responsibilities, values and choices. The rest is up to her...


Anyway, listen to your heart and theirs..you can never go wrong..